Friends really are the cure for everything.

Do you ever have those days (sometimes weeks or months) where all you want to do is stay in bed and sleep and maybe watch an episode or ten of your favourite TV show? Well, that's been my life for the last few months. Not only have I been sick - which is very rare - I've also been feeling sad and depressed and there really isn't much I can do to fix it. Except maybe be with my friends. I'm always happiest when I'm with my friends (or my dogs, but I don't want to seem strange to you). we laugh and talk and have a good time. I know they will always be there for me and I love that more than anything. They are important to me and I know people say that you won't be friends with the people you know when you're young, but I want these people to be in my life forever. They encourage me and stop me from doing stupid things (which I do often) and they listen when I really need someone to talk to. Friends are your unofficial family and I love them so much. I am so grateful to have them there for me. We hung out yesterday - which feels like forever since we last did - and it was a lot of fun. We went to the movies and then danced (not in a club, we were playing video games. We're not that cool). And we talked. It was simple but it was exactly what I needed to help me feel a bit better about my life. So, I just wanted to thank my friends for everything they've done and for putting up with someone who's so difficult. It warms my heart, it puts a smile on my face and it makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world.

Uh....what?

Guys have such a weird sense of humour. How is pretending to break up with someone because they're bored a joke? Also, I don't know if it's just me, but I don't think ex's should be super close to their ex's unless they have a child together or something like that. I have a friend who's boyfriend is getting all comfy with his ex. I don't think it's right. I would never let my ex lay on my lap and nuzzle my shirt while they tell me how bad they missed me. It's wrong, right?

Dear Friend....

Dear friend - I am so sorry that this happened to you. I am so sorry that I couldn't be there for you to stop you. I'm just thankful someone else was and I am forever grateful for that person. I'm not going to ask why you tried to take your own life because I get it. I get how you felt. Lonely. Upset. Forgotten. Worthless. Like you'll never amount to anything. Like the world would be better off without you. I understand, I really do, so I'm not mad at you for doing it. I'm just mad that you didn't feel like you could talk to me about it. I've told you before that you can talk to me about anything and I'll always listen without judging you. I would never judge you. I swear. I want you to know that, when you get out of the hospital, you can talk to me without being embarrassed or scared I'll leave because I wont. I want you to tell me everything. Every bad little detail of your life, every sad emotion you're feeling. I want to know. I want to compliment you and show you that you are such a beautiful person who deserves all the happiness a person can get. You deserve a life where death doesn't run through your mind every single day. I want you to be happy and love life, even if it's not easy. Then again, it wouldn't be life if it was just easy, now would it? But right now I only want to know that you're okay. Even if you're weak, laying in a hospital bed, I just want to know your heart is still beating, that you're still breathing. I love you friend, I really do. Please, let me help.

First Post From New Laptop.

I got a new laptop a week ago, I think. Thank God. I desperately needed one because my other one didn't work anymore for some reason, but it sucks because I have all my stories and songs on that computer and I have to somehow transfer them over to this computer without wifi. Oh, well. I still am thankful. Also, I made a new friend. He's nice and quite a bit like me actually. It's scary. I don't actually know him in real life but I met him online and I think they count as friends too so shut up if you don't. We constantly talk and surprisingly he hasn't gotten bored of me yet.

Best friends

I don't think I've ever felt more blessed than I did today for my friends. We watched a movie today, a sad one, and it got us thinking about our school days. About how we're glad we didn't have cliques. We were glad that our bully problem wasn't so bad. Then we shared memories together. Camp in grade 7. Canoeing. Archery. How a popular girl was our friend. Just proper funny moments. Then we started talking about people we never liked it school. Friend: I think she was only mean because she was so short. It was surprisingly fun. But then we got into how my friend felt so bad because she was bullied. I mentioned my depression. I told them how I felt bad when no one believed me. I felt even worse when they made fun of the fact that 'I thought I had depression'. They did give me helpful things. Then we talked some more. Then I told them something I've only told one other person. I told them that I used to cut myself. They listened to everything and said they were so incredibly proud of me for stopping and told me I was strong. It made me feel good. But I wanted to cry. Yes, I'm emotional. But it brought back memories and feelings I had when I was doing that and it made me feel bad again. Anyways, I was just thankful that they didn't judge me and I am so happy that I could have friends like that around me and will support me and lead me on the right path. So, even though you'll never see this, my friends, you are two of the most important people in my entire life and I never want to lose you both. Thank you and I love you.