School Application.

So, turns out if I want to fill in the online application to the school I want to attend, I have to pay $50. And I have no money. None at all. Well, okay. I have $10. That's it. But I emailed someone and they said I could print out the application with my answers and then drop it off so I'm going to do that. I'm going to my friends house tomorrow so she can help me write my application to make it good so I can get accepted. But you wanna know what sucks? My mum tells everyone in my family that my sister is going to college and she's so proud of her and she hasn't told anyone yet that I'm planning on going too. My mum said that it's because she doesn't think I can do what I want to do; I want to act. Why is that so hard to understand? The world needs actors, and I can do it if I'm willing to work hard. And I will work hard. And them not believing in me makes me want to work harder (sometimes it makes me want to give up but I won'y).

Congrats.

My sister finally graduated today. It's taken longer than usual because she dropped out for a year. That's when everyone thought she wasn't ever going to graduate, but she finally did. And I'm very proud of her. She looked very grown up sitting there with all the rest of the graduating class. There was also a cool native man who did some cool hoop dance. It was probably the most entertaining part about it all.

Uh....what?

Guys have such a weird sense of humour. How is pretending to break up with someone because they're bored a joke? Also, I don't know if it's just me, but I don't think ex's should be super close to their ex's unless they have a child together or something like that. I have a friend who's boyfriend is getting all comfy with his ex. I don't think it's right. I would never let my ex lay on my lap and nuzzle my shirt while they tell me how bad they missed me. It's wrong, right?

Dear Friend....

Dear friend - I am so sorry that this happened to you. I am so sorry that I couldn't be there for you to stop you. I'm just thankful someone else was and I am forever grateful for that person. I'm not going to ask why you tried to take your own life because I get it. I get how you felt. Lonely. Upset. Forgotten. Worthless. Like you'll never amount to anything. Like the world would be better off without you. I understand, I really do, so I'm not mad at you for doing it. I'm just mad that you didn't feel like you could talk to me about it. I've told you before that you can talk to me about anything and I'll always listen without judging you. I would never judge you. I swear. I want you to know that, when you get out of the hospital, you can talk to me without being embarrassed or scared I'll leave because I wont. I want you to tell me everything. Every bad little detail of your life, every sad emotion you're feeling. I want to know. I want to compliment you and show you that you are such a beautiful person who deserves all the happiness a person can get. You deserve a life where death doesn't run through your mind every single day. I want you to be happy and love life, even if it's not easy. Then again, it wouldn't be life if it was just easy, now would it? But right now I only want to know that you're okay. Even if you're weak, laying in a hospital bed, I just want to know your heart is still beating, that you're still breathing. I love you friend, I really do. Please, let me help.